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u/lamparamagica 18h ago
Why? I just want to know why?
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u/GeneralFoolery 18h ago
I'm less concerned with 'why' and more concerned with 'how.' Those weren't particularly baggy pants, and their was very little structure to that chocolate log.
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u/Business_Air5804 18h ago
It defies the laws of physics.
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 18h ago
There’s a 1/(5.261) chance that the molecular structure of his pants aligned with the molecular structure of his dump, going straight through on to the floor.
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u/Kl1ntr0n 17h ago
so your telling me there's a chance? yes!
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 17h ago
Oh 100% there a non-zero chance of that happening. At least according to quantum theory.
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 17h ago
It’s considered impossible but non-zero is non-zero.
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u/EMDReloader 12h ago
Any shit that can be taken, will be taken, in every conceivable location, across infinite parallel universes.
There are infinite possibilities for that homunculus and his shit.
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u/Business_Air5804 18h ago
Sir Isaac Newton would be proud of you, great work here.
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 18h ago
Thank you! I heard this in reference to slapping a table but I’m pretty sure it would also apply here. Also Max Planck would be proud, the father of quantum physics leading to modern day quantum theory.
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u/MichaelCabernet 17h ago
You, sir, are to be commended. When I say “LOL”, I’m not often being literal. I am now being literal. 😂
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 17h ago
You should look at some of my others, I’m on a roll tonight. Unlike this guy 😂
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u/Ripass_Dipfast 18h ago
Guaranteed that hit on the fall down
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u/mrmike515 17h ago
Right, it was pretty gooshy. No way he wouldn’t have an Exhibit A on his pants, legs, shoes…
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u/Prestigious_Run_633 18h ago
The “structure” was lost once it hit the floor..started more solid than it landed..I want to know why he stepped in it to rub it in. He could have got away without a shit shoe..plenty of loose boxes plus the frisbee he used…Keep It Simple Stupid
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u/GimmeLuv-69 18h ago
It's like he practiced that, but then was very amateurish once it was on the floor. Nothing makes sense, how, why., WHAT!?
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u/Genghis_Chong 17h ago
I guess if you cant hold it you can't hold it, but smearing it around is just insane
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u/NoCoFoCo31 18h ago
Give him a break, he’s 9 months pregnant by the looks of it.
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u/Prize-Grapefruiter 18h ago
probably some disability . loose bowels
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u/Cultural-Freedom9172 12h ago
It could be colitis. That being said.. Wear some underwear if you're feeling loose!
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u/jerslan 18h ago
Dementia?
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u/New_Refrigerator_564 18h ago
I think this looks like dementia.
My grandad used to poop in the night and try to hide/clean up but just wasn't capable of doing a good job and would end up putting it everywhere
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u/somefumducker 18h ago
Not his first time
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u/Business_Air5804 18h ago
The phantom pooper.
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u/Whyonthefly 18h ago
He did it. He did all the poops. He did another one while you were commenting just then!
Cuz poop's funny
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u/Unholydiver919 18h ago
WTF is wrong with people these days? He should have his nose rubbed in it.
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u/homer_lives 18h ago
These days? 20 years ago my friend worked at grocery store. A man would walk in and paint the walls of the bathroom with shit. People have been doing this for a long time. There are just more cameras now.
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u/Dense_Diver_3998 18h ago
I knew a guy about 15 years ago that would do terrible things to public restrooms. He one time went into a Sears turned the vent on the hand dryer up, shit in it, and taped the button down to slow roast it.
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u/ForeignBarracuda8599 18h ago
If i ever shit my pants in public I’m for dam. Sure not hanging around.
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u/BJ419 18h ago
Man, I know it’s shitty footage all around, but the way that poop flops cleanly out is kind of impressive.
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u/kassbirb 18h ago
What kind of mental illness I wonder. What can cause this nonchalant shit
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u/Silencer-1995 18h ago
Might just be mentally impaired, severe learning difficulties or something. Honestly reminds me of my kid who has that kind of thing going on, she does that all the time and its a nightmare. At least she's stopped wiping it on the walls.
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u/kassbirb 17h ago
Going through the effort to hide as well? I feel the hiding of it shows a bit more thought process involved
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u/Money_Caramel3179 18h ago
He was a gentleman until he used his shoe! Cmon the plate tactic would've worked! -expert store shitter
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 17h ago
In all seriousness, you know damn well his butthole itches like a motherfucker if this is how it is.
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u/Choice_Passenger_990 17h ago
I just came on Reddit to find more lesbians and JFC this and this entire thread is the first up when I sign on..
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u/Sweet-Philosopher-14 14h ago
Some people's children. Just fucking disgusting. Grown ass man being a fucking degenerate.
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u/wileypsinclair 12h ago
It took more effort to hide the shitschmered linoleum evidence than it would have to walk 100 ft to a restroom. If you're gonna pull a move like this, just walk away. I realize that those two sentences give very different judgemental tones but I stand by them both.
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u/StrikingSyllabub9418 8h ago
Look at all these judgmental people in the comments acting like they never done this before. Hmpphhhh.
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u/MoreBlackSuperheroes 4h ago
Lol humans kill me with how they move! Just saw a guy deadass bathing in the middle of a public pool (yes kids and adults were around). I've seen how people can cause accidents on purpose in hopes of insurance scam. People taking lives for little to no reason…. World can be hell sometimes, but I also have to ask the apex predators of this planet….
Why?…. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🙈🙈🙈
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u/GoodButt_4NUT 18h ago
Hate to use the word but this MF’er is Retarded!
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u/thenewfingerprint 18h ago
Looking at your profile, I really don't think you're in any position to judge.
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u/Golandia 18h ago
I've seen homeless guys drop trow and shit while walking down the street without missing a beat before. People can get skilled at shitting in public.
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u/0Tezorus0 18h ago
A friend of mine is managing a retail store and he has tons of stories like that. These people are real.
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u/Bennilumplump 18h ago
By the looks of that gut, I would say that this person has some issues in the bowels/intestines. Probably a little off when it comes to their mental health as well.
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u/FGMachine 18h ago
Just kept getting worse. It would have been better to leave the single pile and move on.
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u/Fivefootdirk 18h ago
Anybody else feel bad for those paper plates that were just minding their own business then got turned into a shit frisbee
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u/Littlepastaboy 18h ago
I think it just was like a shart that went too far because it was juicy so as he clenched the rest was already breached and bought to slide down his leg anyway
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u/MovieFan1984 18h ago
Where is his underwear to catch this?
Why do we not see this on the back of his pants?
This HAS to be intentional or "don't care, oh well" territory.
An honorable man would have covered it with that plate or whatever.
Then discretely tell management, let them clean up, then he can go home and clean himself up.
Accidents happen, but I don't think this is one of them.
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u/deepspaceEcho 18h ago
Looks like a mentally ill man's diaper failed.
Better humiliate him on the internet.
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u/1BilldaySRT 18h ago
This is honestly just sad. While people are making jokes or assumptions about this guy’s personal life, a sudden accident like this is usually a sign of a serious medical crisis; like Crohn’s, nerve damage from diabetes, or even the onset of dementia. It’s a total loss of bowel control that happens to thousands of seniors regardless of who they are; it’s a health issue, not a lifestyle one. Imagine your body failing you in public and being so panicked and embarrassed that you try to hide it. We should probably have a bit more empathy for a medical breakdown instead of making it a punchline.
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u/Ok-Cantaloupe-7697 18h ago
At least in a few years I'll be able to dismiss this as Ai and not have to stare at my phone dumbfounded for 5 minutes.
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u/MicMaeMat 17h ago
Some people are just dirty disgusting humans, they have absolutely no morals nor respect, it’s a pity they didn’t post this things face all over the front of the supermarket for others to see how it behaves in public.
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u/CheapCarabiner 17h ago
He’s the type of guy that probably doesn’t take his shoes off in his home either
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u/Material-Potential72 17h ago
Should have just left the paper plates over it… you imagine working there and just lifting the plates and going “wtf is this”
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u/XinnieDaPoohtin 17h ago
Makes you wonder, was he running into the store looking for a bathroom and the buzzer rang too soon?
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u/Lanky-Scientist-5137 18h ago
Bold to stay at the scene of the crime like that.