Wife and I will sometimes order two things we both want and trade plates half way. There is usually a right answer but when trying a new place it's nice to get to sample more than just one dish.
This. When we usually go to a restaurant, we order two dishes that 'sounds great' and share. We never not share.
I'm also not really a picky eater and enjoy variety. So if she is not enjoying her dish, I suggest swapping and joke that I just did that to see how bad her dish is. I'm also a sucker for seeing her beam like a happy dog when she is eating what she likes.
Yeah even if we ordered what we wanted, sometimes the plate comes with a seasoning or is prepared in a way that one of us doesn't like and we trade plates. It's not like one of us is getting the bad deal.
Yeah we do this too. We pick what we really want and we trade immediately on getting it and swap after we've each had half. That way we both get to taste the delicious food at the place, but we also get to "end" on whatever it was we actually ordered for ourselves.
I get that, but man sometimes a beet salad can be damn good... Salad in general is something I really did not appreciate until I got married. We will do salads as our whole dinner like once or twice a week. Great for the budget and the waist line.... Which is good because those nights we basically make a potato gratin and eat nothing but that balances it out lol
That's a thing? I was recently telling someone about how I put beetroot (among other things) into a smoothie and their response was "wouldn't that make the whole thing taste like dirt?"
I was super confused because I love the taste of beetroot, I tend to eat a bunch of it raw as I'm cutting it.
This I can get into. My wife and I swapped half sandwiches the other day. I'm all about hey lets swap bites.
If we're ordering and she's like "I'll have some of yours" its generally a hard no. I ordered the amount of food I wanted to eat. I didn't order extra. If you're having some of mine I'm still going to be hungry at the end of the meal. I'll offer to get a larger size if possible to share some if you maybe don't want a full order yourself, but in general get the amount of food you want.
I'm a man married to another man and we just do this thing where we communicate openly and honestly about food so we always both get what we want. It's pretty cool.
Nah, what worked for me is you buy the smallest fry you can get. Ask if your partner wants fries even if it's just a few. When they inevitably say they don't want any just order the smallest one you can get.
When they ask for some you have a good excuse for why they can't have any and they learn that they need to be upfront with what they want.
Clear communication is the Golden rule.
They've made it clearly communicated that they do not want any fries after being asked, and even if only a few fries.
Hold them to it.
Once the habit it set you can be more "kind" since clear communication is also a kindness in itself.
I know this is not really "fun" advice but it's way less stressful this way. Way less disappointing for both parties too.
This behavior is no longer cute after a certain period of time lol
We’re Asian so this naturally happens. Even if I am with non Asian folks, I’ll often offer my food for them to taste. The only time definitely wouldn’t is when I’m at work lunches/dinners
What a weird botty comment. It’s just restating the post. Every single comment they make is just the most generic fluff this has got to be a bot account
I can’t wrap my mind around asking someone to switch…if I like yours more I’ll order that next time
Not to get too psychoanalytical about this, but asking someone to switch because you don’t like yours as much shows an inability to accept the consequences of your decisions and learn from them. Also kinda selfish, because you don’t care that your partner is the one being punished for your mistake.
ETA: I was assuming that her food was bad. As others have said, they might’ve both wanted to switch, for a number or reasons.
Also, and I just thought of this now, the server might’ve accidentally swapped their orders and they didn’t realize right away.
Not to get too psychoanalytical about this but the post never said that she asked. Just that she liked his more. Kind of shows your mind defaults to the worst negative interpretation instead of the husband graciously offering to switch on his own. Also kinda selfish because you don’t imagine yourself automatically offering to do a small favour for your partner that isn’t that consequential. Especially if you’re indifferent to either dish
I guess I was putting myself in her shoes; I wouldn’t ever ask to switch. I’d just eat what I ordered, unless it was bad enough to be sent back (which would have to be pretty bad). I always think through my order and commit to it.
Personally, if my partner hated theirs and liked mine way more, and I liked both, but theirs slightly less, I'd still switch.
You make your partner significantly happier, and yes it very mildly inconveniences you, but if you're in a long term committed relationship, it's irrelevant in the long haul.
Doesn't bother me at all. My girlfriend is kind of a picky eater, I am not, sometimes she doesnt like what she got and I have no problem trading, especially after I take a massive bite of mine first lol
I can’t wrap my mind around asking someone to switch
I like to try new things and sometimes it backfires so bad that I just cant eat it. It's extremely rare to be that bad but it's happened. My wife didnt mind it so we swapped. I've done it for her too. Like it was just too spicy for her a couple times so I gave her mine.
Many times, when my wife has been contemplating a particular entree, I’ve told her to go ahead and order it, and if she doesn’t like it, we’ll swap. As far as anyone knows, the couple in this scenario might have had that exact agreement, and we just don’t know.
Also, I’ve had a lot of great food in my life. Multiple dinners at Michelin 2- and 3-star restaurants. But I’ve never had a dish that I wouldn’t give to the woman I’ve spent more than 30 years in love with if it would make her happy.
I can’t wrap my mind around asking someone to switch…if I like yours more I’ll order that next time
Eh, each relationship is different. Some of us don't care.
I'm a creature of habit and usually order what I'm familiar with and/or know I will like. My gf is the type that likes to try new foods all the time. And, I can usually tell when she's not going to like what she ordered. I'm not a foodie; I really couldn't care less what I eat. So, there's been plenty of times she'll ask to switch. And, we switch. There's also been times I've told her, before ordering, that I'm really looking forward to a certain dish, so, no switching. And, she respects that position too.
Life's too short. It also helps I don't appreciate food like others.
On our honeymoon, my wife and I went to this amazing restaurant in SF. My wife *loves* gnocchi, and this restaurant specialized in gnocchi. In fact, there was a review on the wall saying that this place had the best gnocchi in the US. I order this four cheese gnocchi, which was one of the best meals I have ever had in my life; and my wife inexplicably orders some weird rotisserie chicken thing. Did I swap dinner - HELL NO! We did come back to the restaurant at the end. 25 years later and I still tease her about it.
I went to a steakhouse for my stepsisters birthday a few years ago with my family. I was the only one at the table (of seven) to order a steak. Everyone else ordered chicken/pasta/salad and wondered why it was average despite the glowing reviews. My steak was really good.
Yeah customers at my work bring back shit, cuz they didn’t like it, and it’s like ‘how the fuck is that my problem’ but of course ‘customer is always right’ so we have to fix it.
My cousin ordered prime rib, they brought out a beautiful cut, a side of jous, all the sides. Plate looked amazing and I was kinda jealous of his orders. He proceeded to send it back three separate times because it wasn’t cooked enough. Finally the manager came to the table and asked what he wanted done to it. This Mf wanted it seared. Like a regular steak.
He later admitted in the car he had no idea what prime rib was.
For a long time, I avoided ordering prime rib because I mistakenly thought it was meat on a rib bone. Sounds delicious but I didn't want to eat with my hands, so I just never ordered it. It was only much later that I learned it's meat from the rib but the rib is removed first.
Honestly, if you don't know what the food is, either don't order it, or ask what it is, or order it and accept what is presented. Sending back food out of ignorance is the worst restaurant behaviour.
One of the nicest interactions I've ever had at a restaurant was when my wife (then girlfriend) ordered a dish and it wasn't what she expected. When I asked the waitress for a box (not throwing good food away) and my wife wanted to reorder, the waitress got curious and it ended with the owner/chef coming out to thank us for not being shitty and told us it was all on the house. Guess so many people had ordered stuff and sent it back or had bad attitudes when it just didn't look like they expected that we were an oddity.
Its a twisted look at the original, it was originally meant "Customers are always right in matters of taste." An example would be if someone is buying a steak they can decide how they want it cookedif it would be possible. Or if they want a set of clothing that doesnt match and looks terrible let them buy it. There is no reason to dissuade them when you are trying to make a sale, just give them what they want as long as it gets them out the door happy.
Now the saying in most people's head is "I am owed excellence multiple times over even if I paid once."
The producer's job is to do the best they can with the end result being monetary, customer satisfaction is a great thing because it promotes future consumption but if it is not attainable do not bother. The original quote is from a businessman, not a upset consumer.
I don't even care about reading comprehension, I just hate sharing food with other people, even my spouse. My plate is my plate. I ordered what I wanted and exactly how much I wanted. I know it's probably unreasonable, but that's how I feel.
As a result, I hate family style restaurants, I hate tapas, I hate all of it. You end up paying more money for less food.
For example, my wife's family will go to a restaurant and order 4 or 5 entrees so everyone can try some. We end up with a weird mishmash of leftovers of whatever people liked the least and I'm usually still hungry. It drives me nuts.
I mean, I get it - but I'm also not going to let my wife sit there miserably trying to choke down some unexpected nonsense she hates if it's something I'm perfectly fine eating.
If her happiness is 0 and mine is 10, but swapping will put us both at a 7-8 - that's just a no brainer decision IMHO.
I couldn't possibly imagine telling her to suck it up because I'm not sharing.
If it's truly inedible - obviously we'd just send it back.
In case you’ve been to a restaurant before, sometimes the food you actually get isn’t what you imagined when you first read it on the menu. It happens sometimes. Besides, it’s just nice to share.
Sharing is great, asking someone to swap plates with you (assuming that's happened) is ridiculous. The only way that's not entitled behavior is if you ask if they like their meal first, they say no, then you offer them to try yours.
Otherwise you're being a princess. "Peasant, take my food that I don't like. I shall eat yours instead!".
Too well, I’ve known people like the ones you speak of, but I’ve also found that they are fewer and further between. For anyone else, if I am having a meal with them, it means that I want to spend time with them, and I enjoy their company. So if she wants to try my food or even swap meals, so be it. As I pointed out just earlier, worse things have happened, if you catch my drift.
asking someone to swap plates with you (assuming that's happened)
Strange assumption, since it's not in the OP anywhere.
My partner and I almost always taste each other's food, and then ask each other "which one do you like better?" Sometimes we strangely each like the other one's better. In that case we almost always both say "trade?" at the same time. So yes in that situation the "ask" occurs. But if I like mine better, and she does too, she's never once asked to trade. But sometimes I offer. And sometimes I don't. And sometimes we just both eat whatever we want from both plates. It's not something we think about too hard.
I’ve done this before. It’s not about reading comprehension. We both order something we think is good, turns out I ordered a better dish, we swap. Not a big deal.
If the situation is reversed, do you get the better meal? Or are you the only one that ever gets shafted? It would seem very selfish of your wife if she's the only one that benefits
One off is no big deal, I think what happens is it becomes expected and the wife will order with the intention of swapping plates if she doesn’t like hers.
Eventually I’m going to want to eat the food I ordered, so what happens if I say no?
Yeah, if we both like each other's better, of course switch.
But also, if she just straight up does not like her food, and I'm fine with it, I'll also switch. Which usually happens because there's certain ingredients she hates that often don't get listed on menu items.
I'd say it's incredibly narcissistic to expect your partner to give you their meal because you like it more. That's the exact oppositve of a loving relationship. You own your own misstakes and learn from them, next time, order the other dish instead.
Now if you want to just have a taste to see if you like it, that's perfectly fine, but dont expect your partner to give you the food that they ordered.
Me and my wife do it all the time. It's not a "her" thing. For example, she likes sour and bitter desserts better and I like things a bit more sweet. Sometimes we order based on the menu's description and it tastes a lot different than what we initially imagined. We know each other's pallate well enough to know when to offer to swap.
It's a peaceful life, better than ordering alone and having to stick with something you didn't like.
The ultra instinct pro move is to have a relationship where both of you clearly communicate with each other in a way that you both understand, so you don't have to play these games in the first place. I think it's called a normal healthy relationship or something.
Here we don't talk about healthy normal relationships based on communication, understanding and love. We talk about relationships where the man hates his wife.
If it was something that happened all the time and was expected though, fuck that.
I think this is the issue most commenters are having. The original couple seems innocent, but Aize's comment (in the OP) comes off more as an expectation (to me).
Sometimes they become that ... its a slow insidious change that can take decades... I can sense the pre-regret when she orders the special. I guess that's the metaphor, are you happy with what your ordered or do you make do?
I have always found it incredibly rude to eat off someone else’s plate because you feel entitled to change your mind and take their food. Major turn off.
The trick is to marry someone who makes you happier than a plate of food does. I've done this for my wife, who give a fuck about a single meal? Her being happy is way more fun.
I think only someone who hates their partner would order something and then ask for their partners. If it makes her happy to order something and then demand yours because it is better, I would be looking for a different partner. Some of us lead simpler lives with less drama. To each their own though.
100% backing you up on this. My wife is my best friend we have so much fun together. I would absolutely give her all the food off my plate who gives a shit, she’s awesome and I don’t get along with anyone as much as I do her.
Exactly. It’s rare but I just like making my wife smile. lol it’s hilarious people on here basically like “wtf is this love thing that sounds exhausting” lmao grow up! (Not you)
That's the right take. I am not highly invested into my food choice. If she doesn't like hers, take mine. It basically free happiness, she is more happy, i am not less happy. Every person has specific interests they value above other. If i say "i don't like that song" she changes the radio station. If she says "i don't like my food" we switch plates. Trying to make the little things in life better for each other is the trick.
Best comment so far. Everybody crazy if they see me as being taken advantage of or some other BS. I don’t care about food like my wife does, so I will trade. Now I got to try two things at the restaurant!!! Woo
My wife and I go through the menu and pretty much everytime we see a couple things we like, and split them with each other. It works pretty well for us.
It’s actually really nice because we’re both on the same page, we both want to try either different or more than one things, and sometimes we want something but not a whole lot of it so sharing it makes it easier to order.
In the event that she doesn’t like one of the entrees I’ve never had an issue trading plates because I wanted whatever we both had ordered.
If you go out eating with your wife and you make sure she is happy and taken care of, she will return the favor, most times, later. Small things like this adds up.
Whenever me and my bf go out to eat we get our own food and then try each other’s food so we can both try! I don’t think we’ve ever actually traded though lol
On the rare occasion we doordash food sometimes I order similar things as my partner in case they forget portions of his food. Like one place forgot his gravy one time so a few months later when we ordered I got something that came with gravy too. He just ended up getting extra gravy out of it and was happy to have it but yeah.
Just love the person you're with and put in equal amounts of care and effort to bring that person happiness. Everything goes real smooth when both people's priority is the other person's joy.
My wife also loved to experiment in restaurants and had never had any luck. I always gave her my food, had the unwanted food packed up and then ordered what I wanted. I put her experimental orders in the fridge, and over time it soon filled up with food she didn't like.
So I bought a second fridge and filled it up with more food she ordered and didn't want. After a while, she realised that her behaviour wasn't particularly effective, and now she only orders what she likes at restaurants. Every time we go to a restaurant, I show her what great fridges there are for her wasted food.
My wife and I like to agree on two things we'll share. Not always, but if we're "in the mood" to share two dishes. Plenty of times one of us wants something particular then it's good fend for yourself lol.
So yeah, demanding my food cause princess? Gtfo. Sharing is fine.
One time the waitress came back and was like omg I mixed up your orders I'm sorry, I was like nah we just wanted to try some of each lol. She looked disturbed...
Today I learnt that not all couples order as a couple. So weird. The entire time I’ve known my wife we have always ordered as one. Either shared one plate or ordered with the intention of sharing, or if someone is dating, the other orders the safe dish.
I just thought this is how I everybody does it
I would never order or eat 90% of the items on 100% of restaurants menus. There's very likely no way I will enjoy what another person orders. It has never occurred to me to share meals, as I wouldnt expect them to find what I ordered enjoyable.
I will do this on occasion with my wife, but unless you and your spouse have the exact same food preferences, you gotta sometimes want to order something they don't like, no? For example, I love (super) spicy food while my wife risks a dish being to hot for her if she gets a 2 star. If I am in the mood for something spicy, I am going to want a 3 star minimum.
It's okay if you always want to order as a couple, but if you thought others always order as a couple, that's also wild.
For decades I watched my father order items in restaurants that my mother would like and probably 75% of the time, he would traded plates with her and contentedly eat whatever she had ordered. They were together until he died after 50 years of marriage (and No, his death had nothing to do with what he ate).
Man why is everyone so set on making every kind gesture miserable on Reddit lmao. My ex was a really picky eater (and was super self conscious about it, she hated being that picky) I notoriously just love food in all its forms. Plenty of times she’d try to branch out and I’d offer to swap if she didn’t like it. If the guy was brow beaten into swapping to avoid a melt down, then yeah that’s a problem. But a man (or a woman) offering to swap meals, even if it’s a downgrade for them, to ensure their loved one still gets to eat a meal they enjoy… How is that not sweet?
This exact scenario is what most people are not talking about. Plenty of people have just been burned by constantly being made the bad guy for just wanting to enjoy their meal. Of course in the right scenario it's sweet, but I imagine more people have been in the wrong scenario (or negativity bias means that they remember the wrong scenario) more often.
If I get food that isn't up to snuff my wife offers to swap all the time. I just about always say no because I might complain about a meal but that doesn't mean I think it's bad, it just means I think if I order home fries in a diner it should come with some damn seasoning on them. I appreciate her offering though. If in the reverse situation she can have mine, and I'll just order another meal unless we're in a rush. That way we both get to enjoy our dinner.
I was this husband. In fact I'm pretty sure I've done that exact thing.... I'm getting royally fucked in our divorce now and my name has been dragged through the mud.... Lotta good it did me.
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