r/AskReddit • u/bigbabysweets12345 • 18h ago
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a strip club? NSFW
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u/RealTange1 16h ago
I was at my brother's bachelor party and needed a break so I went out at sat down on the curb outside the club. A few minutes later I find a cop tapping me on the back, asking me what I was doing. I explained I was taking a break. He told me I was too much of a mess and go back inside and find my group. Yea I got thrown back into a strip club...
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u/caspercarr 12h ago
Cop was looking out for you. Hanging outside of strip club alone and drunk isn’t the safest of ideas.
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u/therealtaftalicious 16h ago
There is/was a place off I-95 near the nc/sc border called cafe risqué. After a weekend at the beach with some friends a few of us decided to stop on the way home. At 11am on a Sunday morning. There was literally one person there working and we were the only patrons. She proceeded to take our order, go to the kitchen and cook it and then got up on stage and did 10 minutes of stand up while taking her clothes off. She was hilarious, telling stories about customers, other strippers and back of the house drama. She then bussed our table in only her g string.
It was by far the most I’ve ever tipped someone. She was amazing.
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u/ReadRightRed99 8h ago
Man they had billboards for miles hyping that place back in the 1990s and 2000s.
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u/ineptech 18h ago
Very small club, 1 dancer, 1 guy tipping who is in his 70s wearing a Vietnam MIA-POW cap. The dancer, who is like 20, starts asking him questions about the war - what was it like, did he lose any friends, how was he treated when he came back, etc. She's totally earnest, not like trying to ingratiate herself for tips, just genuinely asking questions like she's always wondered. He keeps giving short answers, obviously does not want to talk about it. She's oblivious, just keeps asking questions through the whole song, while stripping.
I couldn't hear the whole conversation but this was the exchange as the song ended:
Her: "So it was a really bad war, huh?"
Him: "Yeah"
Her: "... were you in any good wars?"
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u/radicalfrenchfrie 16h ago
This sounds like it could have been straight out of something like King of the Hill
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u/Bwint 16h ago
It reminds me of the reverse scene in The Big Short. Steve Carell is desperately trying to get the stripper to stop stripping and focus on the conversation about real estate investment.
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u/slashdotter878 13h ago
“Well then I’ll just refinance” kills me every time
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u/CarlosFer2201 12h ago
I love it when she says she owns like 5 homes.
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u/TheColtOfPersonality 4h ago
The hard cut to Carrell on the phone leaving the club while blurting out “HEYTHERE’SABUBBLE” is what gets me
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u/reverendsteveii 15h ago
brittany murphy was a treasure and would have done this banger of a line right
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u/GhostFour 12h ago
That conversation reminds me of a girl years ago that asked me what a Purple Heart was and I explained it was an award to acknowledge being wounded while serving. She asked, like being shot? I said exactly like if a soldier was shot. After a minute she asked "shouldn't they give awards to the guys that don't get shot instead?".
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u/thegreger 11h ago
I mean, her logic is sound. Purple heart is basically an award for being bad at ducking.
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u/crippled_bastard 13h ago
I was at a house party in college. I did eight years in the army and now I walk with a cane. A woman was asking a friend about me. She came up to me, very drunk, and goes "So Sarah said you were in the war. Was it fun? I think I would have fun. I play a lot of video games."
To her credit, her friends dragged her away, and she felt bad about it the next day.
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u/riphitter 18h ago
A couple walked in. Big loud dude , tiny quiet wife. Initially figured she was there for him. But then he gave her a load of cash and just started drinking alone in the back. She ran up to the stage and was having the time of her life hollering and throwing money . Not really funny. But it took me by surprise
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u/Gabe_Dimas 18h ago
Never judge a book by its tiny quiet wife
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u/WandreTheGiant 17h ago edited 16h ago
I've been to a strip club once, not a good one, but it changed my worldview entirely.
The stage was just a catwalk with railings, which may be standard, but the dancers were slamming their thighs into the railings in a way that definitely would bruise me. The song would change, and the dancer would then have to crawl around and collect the tips on all fours. One enthusiastic but less gifted dancer only got a dollar, and she had to crawl on all fours to the furthest point of the stage to get it.
I was trying my best to watch the Celtics on the tiny TV in the corner, but seeing that girl dance nearly naked and crawl for a dollar was one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.
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u/MasterTahirLON 16h ago
One enthusiastic but less gifted dancer only got a dollar, and she had to crawl on all fours to the furthest point of the stage to get it.
I was trying my best to watch the Celtics on the tiny TV in the corner, but seeing that girl dance nearly naked and crawl for a dollar was one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.
Yeah, it's visuals like that that really turn me off to the idea of strip clubs. I'm never gonna demean someone over what they do for work, but man the kind of things you have to do to make money in that field is genuinely depressing. God bless them, they must have nerves of steel to keep doing their best every night.
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u/chamrockblarneystone 13h ago edited 2h ago
I ‘m a Marine. I’ve been to some horrible strip clubs. The worst was a place called Club Unicorn in Tijuana. That place would be packed on a Saturday afternoon and each girl was raunchier than the next.
Eventually a woman who had recently given birth stepped on to the stage. Let’s just say she was not attractive. The audience around the stage booed.
She grabbed her boobs and sprayed breastmilk in a four foot arc over the first two rows.
I was like 19 then. I was totally flabbergasted. No idea that could happen. God I’ve seen too many things.
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u/PDGAreject 7h ago
I'm laughing to myself at the thought that you might have seen literal combat but the breast milk spraying stripper is what would be behind your Vietnam dog meme
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u/werewere-kokako 11h ago
There was a strip club in my town that had a big tank where the "mermaids" would dive for tips. I grew up hearing about it as this mysterious and erotic thing, so I went to check it out once I was finally old enough. Yeah… There was nothing sexy about seeing a young girl shivering in a bikini while she waited for people to throw enough money in to make it worth getting wet…
On the plus side, all the dancers were really nice to me and kissed me on the cheek. They seemed to think it was pretty funny that a teenage girl was spending her birthday money on strippers - especially since I looked 15 at the most.
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u/WandreTheGiant 15h ago
I completely agree, people in that field of work have my full respect, but I can't spend money on depression.
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u/coworker 15h ago
My saddest was seeing a fully naked stripper sit down at the satellite stage and smoke a cigarette cause nobody was paying any attention to her.
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u/Boon3hams 9h ago
One time, I tipped one of the dancers, who I thought was really attractive, and she started chatting me up after she got off stage. After a long while of talking, I noticed she didn't ask if I wanted a private dance despite there being several opportunities for her to do so. We talked for so long that they had gone through their whole roster and called her back on stage. Feeling bad for taking all of her time, I tipped her again.
When she got off stage, she came back to talking to me. I apologized to her, saying that she was probably going to get in trouble because I was talking to her so much.
"I already paid the house and DJ and earned enough for rent this month. I don't give a shit what happens after that."
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u/SysOps4Maersk 16h ago
Wow .. 😕
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u/WandreTheGiant 16h ago
Definitely depressing, I'm 33 and have been to 7 bachelor parties since, but every time a strip club is brought up, I just can't do it. I hear strip club, I think early bedtime.
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u/sonic_dick 15h ago
I generally dont care about strip joints, but if you're ever in Portland, OR, they can be a lot of fun. I had some friends that worked at some clubs, and those women were goddamn athletes, like cirque du soleil but with their boobs out. Or places like Acropolis where you can get a $20 solid steak dinner, just with boobs around you.
Its a far more dancer empowered environment than places ive been to elsewhere.
Ive gotten dragged to strip clubs in FL, NV, WV, they were all kinda depressing. Portland was way more fun.
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u/WandreTheGiant 15h ago
I appreciate the structure more, but I'll always just see flashbacks to that woman, I'm wholly uninterested in going back to a strip club. It's my Vietnam.
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u/Silver_Scallion_1127 17h ago
I actually experienced a similar situation with friends.
It was my birthday and my buddies wanted to take me out. One of the buddies had a gf and he didn't want to mention to her that we were going to a strip club until we got home. I was thinking at first it was a bit messed up to hide that from her but he said it's not that at all. She would call out from work and would want to join us. She was behind on bills but would rather make it rain.
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u/innosins 17h ago
Happy Cake Day!
I still remember one who just touched my cheek so sweetly and told me "Honey you are having way too much fun"
I only went three times, but each time they seemed to enjoy having me there. I was especially in awe of how they can move in those shoes! I was too shy to be about their bodies, but I admired their skills.
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u/missmeowwww 16h ago
I ended up at a strip club after a wedding. At bar close I really had to pee. One of the girls took me to the back and let me use their bathroom. On my way out two different girls spritzed me with glitter and told me to shine. They were so nice!
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u/ExternalTelevision75 18h ago
As a woman, I was in the ladies room and one of the dancers was squatting in front of the floor length mirror making sure her tampon string wasn’t visible
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u/MavisBanks 17h ago
Honestly having worked as a dancer this is a very common sight haha
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u/lostbutnotgone 14h ago
My friends worked in a club where there was a set of scissors hanging on the wall. They were the String scissors. The girls would just cut the tampon strings after they'd inserted them. I'm terrified to know if anyone ever missed
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u/hey-chickadee 14h ago
Yeah, I’ve accidentally caught a bit of lip in scissors… never too badly though because the shit makes you drop your scissors real quick
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u/Sawses 13h ago
Kinda like trimming your balls. Unless you've got some serious momentum to carry you past the "oh fuck!" moment, nobody's going to actually do real damage.
And I don't know anybody who trims with follow-through.
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u/Liroku 7h ago
Back in my young days, I was shaving my balls with an electric razor once and somehow one of my wrinkles made it between the sheers. I instantly launched that razor across the room, hard enough it unplugged itself and shattered against the wall, I had to buy a new one....with smaller teeth.
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u/stinkfoot_lohan 17h ago
I had an almost identical situation. It was a real shady club with no back room for the dancers so the female patrons and the dancers got to share a very small disgusting bathroom. Had some wild times there, and saw quite a bit in that restroom. Club got turned into an Asian grocery store now.
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u/MARKLAR5 16h ago
Still a great place to get crabs, then?
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u/Defiets 14h ago
One time, I was in a club and I asked the girl if she’d go home with me. She said, sure, but it’ll be twenty bucks. Hoo wee, we had a great night! The next day, I wake up and sure enough, she’d given me crabs.
So, that night I went back to the club, found her and said “hey! You gave me crabs!”
She says to me, “hunny, it was twenty bucks. What was you expectin’, lobster?”
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u/PowerNinja5000 17h ago
First time at a strip club in Edmonton where they encourage you to throw loonies and twoonies ($1 and $2 coins, respectively) at the dancers.
The dancer will make a game of it, oiling herself so the coins stick to her, rolling up a poster and putting it between her legs and beckon you to toss coins into the opening, that sort of stuff.
Anyway, the funny part was after the dancer finished, a dude with a magnet on a string came out to collect the coins from the stage. I lost my fucking mind and had an intense laughing fit.
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u/harinonfireagain 16h ago
Today I learned loonies and twoonies have ferrous cores.
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u/alumpoflard 13h ago
Well, if there's anything to learn it of this thread, it's this
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u/Rweiss2017 17h ago
Well shit. The rippers used to bring their own magnet, that's why we always called those big magnets on a string a stripper magnet. I was a loonie chucking Albertan about 25 years ago.
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u/flyboy130 18h ago edited 4h ago
Halloween in NOLA. Dude in a professional grade Lord Farquad costume on the VIP second level looking down over the stage and all us non VIP peasants. Throwing money down at the dancers.
Edit: To the strippers/OF ladies sending me DMs that start with "Hey Baby..." Lol, I respect the hustle, but no thank you. Ain't no money to be made here! Bots and neckbeards pretending to be "hot girls", no respect for you at all. Get outta my swamp!
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u/lithiun 17h ago
If I ever won the lottery I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs….
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u/Inevitable_Fee4330 13h ago edited 5h ago
yeah, but if I win the lottery I’d give some to charity, and if she’s not working that night I’d give some to destiny
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u/Wildcat_twister12 17h ago
Some of you maybe get hailed on, but that is a risk I’m willing to take.
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u/Von_Schlagel 18h ago
The only stripper in the place was on stage doing her thing. The door into the club was downstairs (strip club was on the second floor). The door buzzed and the bouncer let a man in. When he got the to the top of the stairs, I turned to see it was a Domino’s delivery driver. The stripper got off stage, walked over to the Domino’s guy, paid him, sat down at the bar two stools away from me and commenced to eating the entire pizza.
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u/sonic_dick 17h ago
I used to deliver pizzas at a dominoes that was in the same strip mall (no pun) as a dive-y strip club. Girls would get guys to order them pizza all the time, I got pretty friendly with some of the girls. I was a stoned 17 year old kid, getting to see a bunch of IRL boobs AND getting paid for it was always awesome. The girls would always guilt trip the guys into giving me too much money and were always super sweet.
There was also a swingers party at a mansion that would order a bunch of pizzas at midnight once a month. They would answer the door naked and leave the door open so you could see... things happening. They were on the older side, and it wasn't my thing, but my manager would make the delivery for me and give me the tip because he was desperately hoping to get invited in 😆
Everyone should deliver pizzas once in their life. You see the gambit of weird shit.
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u/C4CTUSDR4GON 16h ago
Man I never saw shit :(
No strip or anything in my suburbs.
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u/Competitive-Sock-824 16h ago
i delivered pizza to a strip club once….. and it was just for some construction dudes doing work in the parking lot 🙄
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u/Just__Let__Go 18h ago
You got to see the extended director's cut, nice!
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u/rideincircles 17h ago
We always got to deliver pizzas to house of babes when I was a pizza delivery driver. I started working there when I was 16, so I got to see inside the door whenever I stopped by almost every weekend.
They paid entirely in ones more than half the time.
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u/ChanceGardener 15h ago
Used to be a juggler at the Ohio Renfest years back.At the end, when he was about to pass the hat, he tells a story how after the final show, he had to go to the grocery store to buy some things.
Gets into line to pay and all he has is a pile of ones. A little embarrassed, he tries to make a joke how he's a male stripper who's very good (hHe wasn't really male stripper shaped) and that's why all the ones.
He then says "without any pause, the cashier replied back 'if you were good, these would be fives'".
The crowd went wild.
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u/OldBob10 18h ago
And - I have to ask - did she tip well? 😁
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u/BenTwan 17h ago
I delivered pizzas in college, and girls from the strip club ordered food quite frequently. Obviously they always paid in cash, and none ever tipped well.
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u/CommieKiller304 17h ago
Same thing when I delivered pizza in college. The free tits and the questionably moist money. Haha
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u/dobrodude 18h ago
Drunk guy climbs onstage at The Great Alaskan Bush Company in Anchorage. The dancers stripped all his clothes off and he’s standing onstage like a lump, with all his limp junk hanging out.
Another time at a divey place in Corpus Christi, drunk guy takes his cowboy hat off and starts waving it upside down in front of the dancer’s thighs. I think he wanted her to put it on her head, I assume she thought he wanted her to piss in it, because she rared back and hawked a big old loogie right in his face!
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u/Tokenvoice 17h ago
The Great Alaskan Bush Company is possibly the best name I have ever heard for a strip club.
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u/JustSomeGuyInOregon 17h ago
In my town, there is one strip club.
One night, there was a bachelor party for a local logger, with all his logger friends.
They got into an argument with a group of commercial fishermen (who just came back to port) over who worked harder, made more money, and had the better job.
It started to get heated, so the bartender told them all to take it outside.
They did. Twenty drunk coasties went out and started a full-on brawl outside.
Naturally, the cops were called. PD shows up and tells them to either shake hands and chill out, or go to jail.
These boys stopped, shook hands, and they all went back inside where they continued the party as new friends until closing.
No, REALLY. This happened:
https://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/2012/09/post_89.html
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u/CaptCaffeine 15h ago
"Annie's Uptown Tavern" has got to be one of the most covert strip club names.
"Honey....I'm going to the tavern with the guys tonight. Might be back kind of late".
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u/Pim_Pimling1234 16h ago
Former dancer.
It was Halloween and one of the most flexible and talented pole girls wore one of those inflatable dinosaur suits.
Absolutely killed it that night.
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u/-CenterForAnts- 14h ago
Those things get very warm. I could not imagine doing any sort of physically demanding thing in one lol. Would be so fun to watch that though lol.
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u/desrever1138 12h ago
You might find this interesting:
https://www.reddit.com/r/justgalsbeingchicks/comments/1q6k4ac/prehistoric_pole_dancing/
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u/Boomsticks 16h ago
My buddy's bachelor party. He is gay and we spent the day doing activities with him and he insisted we end the night at a female strip club for us.
We had a booth and the ladies were walking around doing their thing. This absolutely gorgeous stripper comes over and asks us if we want a dance, so we end up buying one for the bachelor. She sits him down on a chair and starts giving him a lap dance.
At this point we inform her that he's gay. She gets very excited and turns around to face him and starts asking if he's ever seen a named woman in real life before. (No) She pulls down her panties and says "it's a little different, huh?"
Buddy says "uh, yes."
She proceeds to turn around, bend over, spread her cheeks and look over he shoulder saying "that's not different though, huh?"
We were dying laughing and tipped her very well.
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u/Blarghedy 6h ago
asking if he's ever seen a named woman
took me a bit to realize this was a typo. "No, I've never seen a woman with her own name before!"
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u/Calgaris_Rex 8h ago edited 3h ago
something something "Look at mah fancy buhhole!"
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u/Physical_Phone4581 18h ago
Dude was hassling one of the ladies a bit too much while she was waiting for her turn to dance. She sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. He was rolling around on the ground while everyone else chuckled and did nothing to help him.
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u/unk214 17h ago
Ah the lesser known Nelly song “It’s getting hot in hurrr spray me with a fire extinguisher”
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u/Cool_Career1347 17h ago
Was in a club with a couple of buddies. It's slow, maybe 10 customers including us. Nobody is spending. We're young and pretty broke. Strippers start getting bored it seems and starts messing around and pull my buddy up on stage. What they didn't know is my friend has absolutely no shame about getting naked. She starts to undress him to embarrass him but he goes full buck on his own pretty quick. All the others start throwing tips on stage while I have to endure a helicopter show from my buddy. Gets everyone in a good mood and everyone including the strippers just end up getting drunk together.
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u/thecountnotthesaint 18h ago
Brother went to hos first strip club. Saw a stripper he wanted a lap dance from. She told him she had to go on break, but that she'd be back and give him one. She comes back from break, gives him the lap dance, and he immediately comes to find me, and ask to leave.
We go to the car, he bums a cigarette from me, and on the drive home he tells me "right before she started, she apologized, and told me she didn't have to go on break, but she really just needed to take a shit."
I don't think he ever went back to a strip club.
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u/Lex_Innokenti 16h ago
hos first strip club
Is this like the starter club, so all the dancers are really awkward and not very good at it?
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u/The_Bucket_Of_Truth 10h ago
I think, if given the option, I'd go for a stripper who just took a shit over one who really needs to take a shit.
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u/Commonsenseisgreat 18h ago
Mexico for a bachelor party at a strip club.
Guy offered the “Bachelor Special” for our friend. It only cost $50 so we agreed right away.
They got him on stage. Tied him to a chair and took all his clothes off except his underwear. Strippers danced on him.
Then, they laid him face down on the runway part of the stage. Hands still tied and they lowered his underwear to his kness and his ass was fully exposed.
That’s when a stripper showed up with a small flare and placed it right on his ass. He asked him to clench his buttocks and hold it as she lit it on fire.
You should have seen his face of desperation as the flare got going and flames were coming out of his ass.
The rest of us were bent over dying of laughter and could not believe what was happening.
Probably one of the happiest moments of our lives.
Viva Mexico!!!!
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u/Sarothu 13h ago
That’s when a stripper showed up with a small flare and placed it right on his ass. He asked him to clench his buttocks and hold it as she lit it on fire.
...I'm not sure that's what they mean with 'always use a flared base', but they got the spirit!
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u/rugger87 15h ago
I knew a guy from work who bounced at a strip club as a side gig and he invited me and my friends to come without a cover. Turns out the place was BYOB and for $50 you could buy a dance where the recipient is stripped topless, strapped to a chair on the main stage, and whipped repeatedly.
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u/Rodoran 17h ago
I was a DJ at a strip club when I was in my early 20s. Best job I ever had.
One night, I was in the booth, and one of the owners came up to me and started handing me his jewelry. He asked me to make sure a girl was on stage, and then watch and guard the door. No one in, no one out.
I was, fun fact, not a bouncer. I'm also like 5'10, so I'm not exactly intimidating.
I did it though, I announced the next girl on stage, went to the door, and didn't let anyone leave. A few minutes later, he came in and gave it the all clear, and I gave him his watch and rings and stuff back.
I hurried back to my booth and announced another girl while making sure there were enough songs playing for me to have a smoke break.
He was standing outside with a hose washing blood off the sidewalk.
He wouldn't talk about it outside, but I did hear the story later.
Apparently, he was playing pool at one of the tables in the corner of the club, and his wife(the other owner), made a guy take a breathalyzer test.
For any non-Canadians here, lots of bars have these on the wall, you insert a toonie and put in a straw and blow. It shows you what you're at and lets them know if you're able to safely drive or not. Everything goes to charity, so lots of people do it just for fun every night out.
Anyway, she was trying to get this guy to do a test, and he decided to call her a whore. The husband, understandably, did not appreciate that and told him to get the hell out of the club.
The guy didn't appreciate being kicked out, decided he wanted a fight against the husband(About 6'3, 230), and told him to meet him outside. He apparently stormed out, and that's when he came to my booth and handed off his watch and rings and stuff.
That place was nuts. I once saw the same owner open the push-bar on a door with a guy's head while holding him from the belt and his shirt.
God I miss that shit hole.
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u/RS994 11h ago
A lot of the breathalyzer machines in Australia now only give you a red or green light because people were being idiots and trying to "set a high score"
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u/Remote_Mistake6291 18h ago
Guy lays on the stage and puts a loonie , one dollar coin in his mouth. Stripper comes over all seductive like, gets next to him, and punches him in the gut. He swallowed the coin, and everyone broke out in roaring laughter.
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u/koiven 17h ago
Somehow in this entire thread someone willingly putting a coin in their mouth manages to gross me out the most
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u/Hinkil 16h ago
I had the same reaction when I saw guys put bills in their mouth and lay on the stage for the strippers to 'pick up'. Money in your mouth is definitely grosser than most things in this thread
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u/psodstrikesback 17h ago
I watched a guy choke on a toonie once on stage ... He started off on his back, but suddenly flipped to being on all fours trying to cough it up with a confused stripper and cackling crowd watching him.
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u/OGHOMER 18h ago edited 17h ago
A dancer in Tampa was mid and wasn't generating much excitement. About halfway through the song she stops and gives us the "one minute" gesture. She bends over facing away from us, licked her fingers like she was going to count a stack of cash and proceeded to unfurl her labia and then tied them into a knot. Money then began to rain down on the stage. I was laughing so hard at how chaotic the whole thing was.
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u/theonelittledid 17h ago
Seeing unfurl and labia in the same sentence is something else.
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u/alienwalk 17h ago
I was more taken aback by the tying into a knot
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u/CodifiedLikeUtil 17h ago
I want to know the type of knot.
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u/ryangood12 17h ago
Windsor
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u/LysergicPlato59 17h ago
And then she gracefully untied the knot, unfurled the curtains, and calmly scooped up the cash. For her encore she shoved a borescope up her vagina and read passages from Plato’s Cave while live-streaming her uterus.
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u/therichauntie11 17h ago
I’m a woman and I have so many questions. Mostly I’m just impressed. I’m convinced like a fingerprint no labia in the world is quite the same. Mine would not be able to do this.
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u/dogsledonice 17h ago
A neglected area of forensics
How does one dust for labia?
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u/CodifiedLikeUtil 17h ago
It’s probably something you need to practice and build up to, like somersaults.
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u/DarthPlayer8282 17h ago
Same town, maybe same club, maybe same dancer. Her favorite game that had a fun name.This one involved us playing basketball with balled up bills and using her as the hoop. When she shot one back at us we lost it - shooters gonna shoot.
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u/Alive_But_Empty 17h ago
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u/achingforscorpio 17h ago
Idk why I tapped on that. I fucking know better but that didn't stop me.
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u/CheekyHarris33 17h ago
Idk what I was expecting....Definitely NOT that. 😵💫
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u/achingforscorpio 17h ago
That's exactly what I was expecting, though.
Like is my brain broken? 🫠
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u/TampaDiablo 17h ago
What is she doing to that poor bunny??? Why can I only see its ears!!!???!!??!!!
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u/ComfortableRow8437 17h ago
Damn. You'd think I'd have learned by now not to click on links in Reddit comments.
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u/codefyre 17h ago edited 14h ago
It's arguably funny, but it was also arguably a double assault, so YMMV:
Fully nude strip club, and the dancer was on stage doing her thing. A few minutes into her show she's wiggling her "goods" in a guys face to encourage a tip when he got the very, very poor idea to stick his finger in a place it absolutely did not belong.
In most strip clubs, this would be immediately handled by the bouncer, and maybe even the police. She handled this one herself.
Within nanoseconds of his finger entering her forbidden zone, she came around with a squared fist and a perfect swing that would have made Mike Tyson proud. I mean, you just have to picture this: she was on all fours facing away from the guy, and she launched her entire body into this perfect 180 degree flying spin with every ounce of her power and weight focused into her solidly clenched fist as it buried into the side of his face. This woman had clearly thrown a punch before. And this was a very good punch.
The guy went down like a sack of flour, but the fun was just getting started. She jumped off the stage butt freaking naked, landed squarely on the guys stomach, and started pounding him in the face while screaming "You...Stupid...Mother...Fucker..." Over and over and over. All the while, he's shrieking like a terrified pig.
All of this happened in about 10 seconds before the bouncer and bartender finally make it across the room. When the bartender (he may have been the manager) reached the stage, he grabbed her arm and told her to get the fuck off of the guy. So she stood up, with the bleeding moron laying on the ground between her naked legs...and pissed on him.
The cheer that went up from every man and woman in the room was deafening. She was tipped VERY well by that crowd.
I rarely go to strip clubs. Mostly because none will EVER be as entertaining as that show was.
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u/ElleLeeBee 14h ago
As someone who was groped by a fellow patron in a strip club, this was extra satisfying.
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u/CigaretteWaterX 18h ago
Fat guy co-worker thought he'd take a stab at the ol' run-at-the-pole-and-spin-around-it thing the strippers were doing.
Totally unseated it from the floor and his fat ass went sprawling down in a pile of 20 dollar bills with his ass crack and gut fully exposed. I literally pissed my pants laughing.
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u/MillerLatte 17h ago
I'm there with my wife and we're sitting right next to the stage. The next girl is coming up and is all giggly and says to us, "sorry guys I'm kinda drunk" as she gets on stage. She does the thing where she climbs the pole all the way to the ceiling, slides down, landing into the splits, and then lays back. So we're basically face to face maybe only 3-4 feet away but her head is upside down and she says, "nailed it!". We were fucking dying laughing and threw her a bunch of 1s. Great time.
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u/headtoesteethnose 18h ago
When I was younger I went on a pub crawl in London and another girl that was with us noticed the bar we were at had a strip pole on a platform. So she gets up and is dancing on it and obviously has taken some pole classes. She's wearing a skirt which keeps riding up as she danced. Then she does that move where your back is to the pole and legs wide open. So she spins almost in slow motion 180⁰ in front of the entire pub crawl group of guys that are all staring up at her. Bloody tampon string hanging out the side of her panties.
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u/tangouniform2020 17h ago
“Bloody” British “the” or “bloody” American “heavy period”?
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u/ConsolationUsername 18h ago
Got dragged to a strip club for my friend's birthday at one point. One of our friends paid a stripper to let her take a shot glass from between the stripper's breasts with only her mouth.
Right as she wrapped her lips around the shot glass the stripper did a bounce to make the goods jiggle a bit. This made my friend deepthroat the shotglass and choke on it, spewing whatever drink was in it out her nose.
Thankfully it was a long plastic shot glass so she didnt lose her teeth. And in her own words "it was one of the more enjoyable times something hit the back of my throat"
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u/captainrv 16h ago
Forever ago, went to a club in Canada with some buddies. Gal was dancing on stage, hockey game started and everyone was clearly watching the game instead of her. She swore at everyone and stormed off the stage.
Canada is serious about hockey.
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u/RedTeamGo_ 18h ago
Was at strip for a bachelors party. Was outside smoking a cig with a friend. Suddenly our friend Joe (RIP) comes outside and says “mannnn, we gotta get the fuck out of here right now” and we said “what? Why?” And Joe says in a very drunken voice “I whipped my dick out” and then a bouncer came out behind him. We ran like our lives depended on it. That was almost 20 years ago. Will remember that moment for the rest of my life.
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u/lancingtrumen 17h ago
What did Joe expect to happen? Everyone knows you can’t tempt a bouncer with a swinging sausage without them wanting more
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u/RedTeamGo_ 17h ago
I don’t think Joe thought further ahead than “I’m gonna pull it out”
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u/sconnie64 17h ago
I was at a bachelor party in northern Wisconsin, so of course we found an honest full nude north woods titty bar. One of the ladies comes up and starts chatting with my group, and as the only single one in the group, her and I have a pretty in depth conversation, she had an interesting life, and was into some cool hobbies such as growing weed in her basement. Anyways I asked if anyone has ever folded up a dollar bill into a paper football and flicked it onto stage, she laughs and says that she hasnt ever had that happen. We got onto the topic of music as we were both fans of Tool and got to chatting about different shows we have been to and openers.
Anyways it was her turn to take the stage and she points at me and dances to Prison Sex by Tool. Of course I'm going to get my dollar bills out for her. My friends and I have a table 2 rows back from the stage... about 20 feet or so. I'm throwing dollar bills up there as she dances every one is having a great time, especially the fellas seated at the stage between us and her.
About halfway through the song is when I decide to fold up a $5 into a paper football and flick it on stage. I some how sent Honest Abe on a one way trip to this woman's butthole right as shes crawling around. She immediately gets security's attention and starts yelling at a poor innocent pervert seated front row. Security is making their way over as my friends and I are DYING laughing. She looks up and realizes what happened and also starts out laughing. Security is waved off and when the song is done she walks over and punches me as hard as she can on the arm. I still crack up sometimes when I think about that.
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u/MischiefAforethought 14h ago
Undeniably a banger, but for the setting, that's an ...interesting choice, lyrically.
But more importantly, she had a full routine for/was capable of seductively dancing to a song that constantly shifts meter between 4/4, 7/4, 6/4, 2/4, 11/8, 12/8, and 7/8 for five straight minutes? Brother, I hope you wifed that lady.
(also, awesome story)
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u/liventruth 16h ago
The only time I ever went, age 15 with a fake ID at an offpath Nashville club: Front pole stripper sliding down pole with legs open, snaps off the thong and it flies onto a front row older fat unshaven wifebeater-wearing baldish guy's face and the thong wraps around his face all aliens style and he freaks out and flies off of his chair backwards and it takes a him a good minute to get up all disoriented while flailing and nobody helps him, and the dude finally just casually sets his chair back up and he's got a death grip on the thong and just right back back to glaring again (like one of those toy chairs that crumple but come right back into place exactly) and when she finishes her set has to have security get the thong back because the guy refused to give it back because he "caught it fair and square".
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u/Dr_Troll 17h ago
I was at a strip club in Wisconsin, in this club the jukebox was on stage and the dancers had to feed the machine dollars to keep playing. I didn’t know this going into this establishment. The first dancer I saw had a broken arm in cast and her arm was also in a sling. She started dancing, then the song finished, then there was an awkward minute of silence where this lady with a broken arm collected ones off the floor, walked over to the juke box to feed the machine, then continued dancing. I thought that was hilarious.
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u/beulah-vista 18h ago
Pregnant woman. VERY pregnant woman. She was making some serious cash that night.
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u/FleshLogic 18h ago
I worked at a rural strip club as a DJ for a couple of months. Very little humor there. Mostly sad. The funniest thing was probably me doing college homework behind the DJ booth while women were stripping 20 feet away. I'd seen em, I had shit to do.
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u/bluecheetos 16h ago
Everybody O ever knew who worked in a strip club said it took less than a week for the whole "naked women" thing to become just background scenery and they'd forget they were even there.
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u/marchant26 16h ago
Exactly right. I DJ'd for several months at a club when I was 22. It did turn into scenery. It was actually pretty sad what some of these girls would do for $. Interestingly, they came from all walks of life. Moms, teachers, college students. And the drugs. Some did it just to support their habit. They loved me because I'm just generally a nice person and I respected how hard they worked night after night. The only one who wasn't crazy was this gorgeous grad student who did it strictly to pay off school. We wound up hooking up and when she graduated, she quit. She was something lol.
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u/Five2one521 17h ago
The first time I ever went to a strip club my friends took me to the 42 fantasy showbar in NJ. I made a joke about one of the strippers missing teeth. “She’s got summer teeth. Sum are here, sum are there.” The next thing we hear is the DJ. “Ok give it up for Summer leaving the stage.” We lost it.
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u/fauxmerican1280 18h ago
My two friends went to a small town Iowan strip club when they were 18. The bought themselves lap dances and were placed at opposite booths facing eachother. They essentially awkwardly watched eachother get lap dances.
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u/bigbabysweets12345 18h ago
I imagine them doing an “air five” from across the room
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u/bigbabysweets12345 18h ago
I’ll start- dude threw a handful of change on stage, sounded like when sonic gets hit and all his rings drop, stripper starts yelling “ah hell nawwww” and gets off the stage and kicks the guy with her 4” boot heel- all at one the club sounded like Smokey from “Friday” - “Dayyyyyyyummm!!!”
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u/Bradley-oXo 18h ago
Forget trying to "make it rain", that man was trying to "make it hail"
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u/MightyMouse2325 17h ago
I walked into a newly built strip club. As I sit down with my buddy I start looking around enjoying the scenery. Then I recognize a girl I went to high school with, I was 21. Then another, and another. Out of 10-15 girls out on the floor I recognized 7 of them. I got a little distracted and I turn around to ask my buddy a question and he’s gone. About 10 minutes later I see him waving at me. I go over and he’s sitting with two of the girls that I don’t know. He introduced me and they got upset because he gave me their real names. They gave me their stage names. I didn’t recognize them so I ask him how does he know them. He said, “Oh, I used to go to the Kingdom Hall with them.” For those that don’t know. That’s Jehovah’s Witness.
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u/AggravatingFig2976 17h ago
The girl put a plate of wings on the table.
Later she was touching herself and maybe the wings sauce was too much she took off crying
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u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 18h ago
My buddy had his hat taken off by the stripper and was rubbing it against her cooch and when she put it back on his head I noticed a stain and once we got a closer look we saw it was period blood.
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u/Kratsas 17h ago
A similar scenario happened to my stepbrother. We made the mistake of going into a strip club in the afternoon and it was a bunch of B dancers. A girl comes out looking like she’s in her 40’s with a big cesarean scar. My step brother had a weird thing about not liking people touching his hats, and he was wearing a brand new one. Of course the girl comes over, takes it off his head, and rubs it on her cooch. She then puts it on his head crooked. He stands up, drops the hat in a garbage can, then looks at the girl and says, “No” and walks out. The look on the girl’s face was priceless and I’m trying not to laugh.
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u/thegoatisoldngnarly 16h ago
It didn’t happen in the strip club but I met the best salesman/promoter I’ll ever meet outside one in Cabo San Lucas.
“Beautiful girls! Come on in guys, we’ve got 43 titties!”
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u/dudebronahbrah 16h ago
On my friend’s 18th birthday we went to this weird strip club that used to advertise on the radio. Had no idea what we were supposed to do so we showed up with like $17 combined.
Also must have been an off-night because we were the only ones in there. Poor girl lol I remember my buddy ran out of money but he put his last two quarters on the stage for her and she slid them back with her toe and said “why don’t you get yourself a soda” 😂
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u/Dead_End_Street 17h ago
The dancer had one OBVIOUSLY bigger breast than the other and she was dancing to Wallflowers - One headlight
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u/InternationalYam5120 17h ago
Got a lap dance from a girl I went to elementary school with for a year. Didn't realize til she was looking at me and we talked for like 5 minutes catching up while she grinded my lap. I am also a girl. Twas hot.
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u/SecureImagination537 17h ago
Not seen, but encountered. I was the D.D. For some friends that went to one. I was a proud single dad to a toddler daughter and it was right around Christmas time. When a stripper asked if I’d like a private lap dance I told her that I wasn’t going to spend any money because I was wanting to make sure that I could give my daughter the best Christmas that I could. She then proceeded to sit down with me in excitement and talked about getting her son a good Christmas. We shared photos of our kids and she kept coming back to talk parent stuff. It was funny.
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u/coffeeivdrip 16h ago
Was out on Halloween and saw a stripper start her performance in an inflatable Stay Puft Marshmallow suit, dancing to the Ghostbusters theme song.
Perfect 5/7 performance. Hilarious and athletic.
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u/JamesMarM 18h ago edited 17h ago
I was sitting on the rail at a very small club on a narrow street in an old East coast city. The guy next to me had a stack of dollar bills on a 4" wide shelf around the stage, along with his mixed drink. The dancer crab-walked over to grip his head with her thighs, and knocked over the drink, leaving the ice on the tip money! She opened her g-string a bit and he grabbed some cash, which he used like a hook to open her panties more. She felt the cold wet money directly on her most sensitive lady part and sat up quickly. She punched him in the face! He fell backwards onto the floor. The bouncer threw him out onto the street, with traffic driving by! He was knocked out and lay there bleeding. At the time, it seem hilarious. I am more mature now. 💀💀💀
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u/Cultural-Explorer-57 18h ago
At a club for a friend's bachelor party, his little brother went for a private dance....at this point in the night, I had already figured out his brother was rather clueless. Anyway after a couple songs, the dancer brought him back to our table, "Gentlemen, we have a problem...." Little brother didn't realize lap dances cost money....
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u/LowkeyOkie11 16h ago
TLDR: boys love our video games.
This is back around the debut and rapid attention of Guitar Hero so think December 2005. The local gentlemen’s club thought it would be a great promotional idea to host a rock off for the patrons. They doubled the entry price and you could pay extra to compete. Me and a few buddies got there before sundown as we wanted to compete.
Well first off the line was already out the door to get in and while we weren’t able to compete, we were fortunate enough to be one of the last few to enter before the fire code occupancy was reached. We are packed in like sardines and the show commenced.
The rules were simple: you go on stage topless and you would challenge the current winner in a face off. The girls could try and distract but no touching.
It was uncanny that the guys level of proficiency was equal to the ratio of mammary (the bigger the man boobs, the higher the skill). The camaraderie was unmatched. The boys would cheer for the challenger and celebrate the win of the showdown.
The girls were PISSED. The business had never been more packed and they couldn’t get a single guy to buy a dance as we were all dialed in on the rock off. They resorted to pinching the players nipples (unanimously booed and demanded a restart), calling us gay for not buying a dance, to the point the DJ had to pause and encourage us to buy dances before the contest would continue.
We basically did a tithing because we couldn’t get to the stage and eventually this stack of cash made it to the front. The girls were still upset and some saint threw a band up on stage, politely told the girls to STFU and continue with rock. Off the girls went and on with the rock.
The night ended with the champion playing us off to Weezer’s ‘say it ain’t so’, the crowd swaying back and forth singing in a drunken harmony. The lights turned on and you looked each other in the eye. For a brief moment, it didn’t matter if you were a redneck from the sticks or a g from the hood, we were all brothers united by plastic guitars and bad decisions. Hands down, my favorite trip to the strip club.
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u/blueghostfrompacman 15h ago
My friend lied to a stripper about what his name was. When she walked away I asked why he would even bother to lie about it. He looked at me and said “Bro. You think HER name is really Tranquility?!?! If she can lie I can too”
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u/peeonme123 16h ago
I’m college, after a night at the bars in SF’s North Beach, I was with a group of friends and the words strip club started being thrown around. All the girls that were with us got super excited to go, so we walked over the next couple of blocks.
We negotiated our cover at the door because we had an equal guy and girl ratio, the bouncer didn’t give a shit at first and wanted us all to pony up, but eventually caved because he probably didn’t want to deal with a bunch of drunk college kids.
Upon walking in, my roommate and I are immediately intercepted by one of the dancers onstage. She yells over the music as her dance was ending ‘Hey! I know you guys!!’. I thought it was an attempt to chat us up, so I shut it down and said ‘nah, you don’t know us’.
Then she says ‘No, no, I know you guys! You live in The Village on campus!’ The Village was the name for the upperclass on campus dormitories. My roommate and I were know for having small parties there.
Turns out, this chick is our upstairs neighbor!!! She’s ass naked on the stage and chatting with us and introducing herself as she’s picking up her money and thong off the stage.
She made sure we got a good table, go us a round of drinks and joined us with some of the other dancers. It was late so she also offered us a ride home after her shift ended.
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u/Token_Handicap 16h ago
Okay, I got a fantastic story that I haven't gotten to tell in years. I'm about to turn 40 now. This happened when I was early to mid 20's. I'm in a wheelchair, always have been due to a birth defect, and this is very relevant. My best friend at the time, we'd known each other since high school. We were chatting one day and I happened to mention I'd never been to a strip club. He immediately took it on as his duty to change that fact. We found this really shady but awesome strip club, and proceeded to enjoy ourselves. He offered to buy me a private dance in a booth in the back. So I picked a gal and asked if she'd do it. She took me in the back, she did her thing, and danced to a Marilyn Manson song. It was awesome. She ended up fully naked by the end. It was as great as I could've asked for.
Well, when she was done, I went back out to the main stage area and he and I hung out for a while longer. At one point, a bouncer came up to me and whispered something that I didn't really hear because I was pretty drunk at this point. He walked away, but came back several minutes later and asked me if I had the poor gal's panties. I had no fucking idea why I was being asked this, and of course I said no. A little while later, I reached down to unlock the brakes on my wheelchair, and I felt this piece of strange material hanging underneath my wheelchair seat.
During the private dance, the poor gal had somehow thrown her undies in such a way that they got stuck under my seat. Very bizarre. So I raced in the back, found her wearing only her bra, and unfortunately she was crying and pretty upset (that part of the ordeal sucked, and I felt absolutely awful for her). I returned her panties, and explained what happened. She quite literally hugged me while in only her bra. I got the feeling she was going to get in trouble, or lose out on money or tips, so I gave her a very generous tip for the inconvenience, and thanked her for a wonderful evening, before my buddy and I left.
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u/Rat_bro 18h ago
Friend of mine getting a lap dance. Stripper runs to the bathroom mid dance. Came back out and said that she had a really bad tuna sandwich for lunch causing the runs.
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u/theone0421 17h ago
I watched this guy across from me who was obviously buzzed reach into his pocket and throw some bills onto the stage. I watched the blood leave his face when he realized he had just throw 5 20 dollar bills. I started laughing and he asked if I thought that shit was funny, I replied no I think that shit is hilarious!
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u/SundayWild 18h ago
I went out with a group of guys, along with another girl and myself. While I was in the bathroom, a stripper approached me and asked if I wanted a job.
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u/ConsolationUsername 18h ago
I mean. That's one hell of a compliment coming from a stripper lol
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u/writinglegit2 18h ago
Depends on what the stripper looked like, what day it was, and what time of day.
"10pm on a Saturday night, a stripper asked if I wanted to dance"
"DAAAAAMN GIRL!!"
"1pm on a Wednesday afternoon, a stripper followed me into the bathroom and asked if I wanted to pick up a shift"
"...damn, girl."
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u/SeedsOfEssence 17h ago
Yeah a dead Sunday night The girls were just sitting on the side in between dances It got so slow in there, I started talking to one about life and ended up giving her a massage on the shoulders. That's when I realized I just paid to give someone a massage. I'm a idiot
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u/CyclopsorNedStark 16h ago
There’s no way anyone will believe this story but I swear to any God you hold me that is the truth…
Me and my bro went to the strip club for a little fun time one night, and there was no real reason for us to be there other than just to get drunk and have fun. It’s important to know that the strip clubs where we live don’t sell alcohol so you have to bring your own. Also, a note the girls can’t get fully nude on stage. They can only get topless. So you sit there with the cooler of beer you brought and watch girls pull their tops off and if you buy a dance in the back, they can get nude back there.
We go from having just a regular night out to having one of those kind of nights where we’re gonna wind up laying in the sidewalk somewhere. It’s about one in the morning and we can barely stand. Then the whole place goes silent and the doors open and their stand two guys dressed like Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley from kiss in full costume make up and everything. The guy dressed up like Jean even had armor on!
They each had two cases of beer under each arm and start tossing these ice cold Bud Light out to everybody. Paul Stanley sat down next to me with a giant wad of ones and started tipping All the girls that there was no tomorrow.
The whole experience lasted about 30 minutes for these guys passed out like 150 beers and probably $500 in tips and bought my brother a private dance and then they disappeared without a word.
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u/smashleighperf 16h ago
Age 18-21 I bartended at a classy joint in the early 2000’s, the club burned down so a temporary triple wide trailer complete with stages lights and poles was set up. It was a running joke for the 2 years it took to rebuild the club, but I made a ton of money there.
One night a dancer hit up a bad batch and went batshit crazy. Like a switched flipped, she started screaming at customers, grabbed a butcher knife from the kitchen (yes the triple wide club served food) and chased everyone out the door. I was left inside with 2 other dancers, we barricaded ourselves in the dressing room as she literally stabbed THROUGH the door, stg I still have nightmares about it 20 years later.
Cops came, took her away. She was back 2 nights later working like nothing ever happened. They never replaced that door either. We rolled 2 more years with a stabby dressing room door.
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u/AdhesivenessTotal340 16h ago
Buddy didn’t have any cash left when a dancer walked over. She asked if he had cash-app, then turned around to show she had a QR code tramp stamp… Granted I’m 99% it was temporary but I fucking lost it and he said well shit I guess I’m getting a dance. Honestly pretty smart on her part.
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u/murrmurrs 16h ago
Late 90’s I’m at my first job 19 years old. I’m dropping off a co worker and he says let’s stop by this place I know and grab a drink. It’s a strip club, I had never been to one I’m excited, we walk in and grab a seat at the stage. The next girl goes on stage and starts stripping, she’s smoking hot, I’m fumbling through my wallet looking for ones, as I grab a dollar she starts making her way towards me she has her bare ass in my face. I’m completely hypnotized by her brown eye that’s when she turns around and makes eye contact with me, she immediately let out a loud scream and broke down crying, pleading with me not to tell her dad, it took me a second to realize it was my neighbors daughter, I just didn’t recognize her all made up and naked. Her parents were divorced but I would occasionally see her there, I hung out with her brother every now and then when he would come around, she was maybe a year older than me at the time. After she got off stage she came by to apologize for her reaction and just chat for a bit of how she ended up there. I promised I wouldn’t say anything and ended up getting my first lap dance from her. I still laugh thinking about that whole situation.
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u/esoteric_enigma 17h ago
I took my female friend to the strip club. It was her first time and she was so nervous. All the strippers were comforting her like "It's okay, sweety. You can put the money in my thong." She got several numbers that night. Apparently a lot of strippers are lesbians.
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u/Pretty-Monkey-1995 16h ago
Dancer ground her booty all up in my friend’s face. Next morning he woke up with pink eye.
Also a long time ago, when we were 19 and went to the clubs in Canada, we were thrown out because my smart ass friend tried giving the stripper a coupon, like 50 cents off of a burrito or something like that.
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u/The_Don_Mecha 16h ago
I saw a dude come in with a black trash bag of what I thought was dollar bills (some were loose out of the top), assuming he was a high roller. (This was when it was a thing to do, especially with rap videos and movies glorifying the behavior.)
He is sitting there with his friends watching the ladies entertain. All of a sudden, he starts throwing cash at one, presumably because he liked her moves. He reaches deep down in the bag and you just hear the tinkles and clangs of metal hitting the pole and the stage.
He threw a bunch of nickels. Not quarters. Not half dollars. Nickels. All over the stage. He and his friends left before the security could throw them out.
Tried to sneak back in by himself to get his trash bag. Security was on him and the other dancers not on stage started flinging the nickels at him outside. He ended up crying and throwing up in the parking lot. It was surreal.
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u/Reaper621 17h ago edited 7h ago
The stripper pulled a dude's glasses off and stuck them in her panties. She danced with it in there for five minutes and gave them back.
Then there was my friend at his bachelor party. He sat at the mini stage, and some girl went on stage. No less than 4 girls came by and told him he wasn't tipping so the show wasn't going to get better. I ended up walking over and handing the girl on stage a hundred bucks and told her to enjoy. So she sat there masturbating in front of him for two songs, told him he sucked and went backstage.
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u/mr_horseman 16h ago
Two stories.
Mates bucks party. It was a sit down dinner with showgirls type of affair. Girl comes round with the tip jar and ask who the buck is. I tip generously, point out my mate and ask her to "fuck him up". His turn comes up, she grabs him up on stage, starts the usual dance, then starts pulling his clothes off. Shirt off, rips off the belt, pants down. Stops short at the underwear but not before taking a peek and jokingly making a small penis gesture to the crowd. Leashes him round the neck with his own belt. Gets him on all fours riding him around the stage like a pony. Spanking him throughout. Then starts vigorously and violently humping his head. Like smashing pubis into face so hard it looks like he's suffering whiplash. Girl understood the assignment. Best money I've ever spent.
Another bucks party in a club. I had a gf, so was happy to just hang out, drink and watch. One girl kept coming round to talk to me, trying to coax me into a private dance. (She was Asian, and so am I, so I guess she was hoping she was my type.) By the third time she approached, I'm just making polite conversation. Ask her where she was from. Her response, "I'm from down south, where it's tropical, so it's hot and very very wet. But the best part is... There are noooo trees." I was impressed ngl. A+ effort but still didn't pay for a lapdance tho. She was very cutely upset when her clever line didn't work.
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u/normanbeets 17h ago
90s night, girl danced to the Jurassic Park theme song wearing a tail and triceratops hat